Why This Matters for ADHD Women
ADHD burnout isnāt just about overwork or lack of rest. Itās about living in constant tension between what matters to us and what the world demands from us.
Research with mental health practitioners (Veage et al., 2014) found that burnout often rises when people canāt live out their values in their work. The same is true for ADHD women: when we spend our days forcing ourselves to meet expectations that donāt align with our strengths, needs, or values, we slowly deplete ourselves.
š Core Insights From the Study (Applied to ADHD)
1. Value Congruence Protects Against Burnout
- Practitioners who could act on values like honesty, competence, and helping others had lower burnout.
- For ADHD women, burnout worsens when life requires us to mask, pretend, or operate in ways that contradict what we care about.
- Example: If creativity is a core value but your work demands endless spreadsheets, burnout builds quickly.
āØ Flourish Reframe: Youāre not lazy or broken. Your burnout may be a signal that your values are out of alignment with your daily demands.
2. Success in Valued Action Predicts Wellbeing
- The study showed that when people felt successful at living their values, they had greater resilience and less emotional exhaustion.
- ADHD women often feel like weāre failing even when weāre not. Perfectionism, shame, and inconsistent executive function chip away at our sense of accomplishment.
- Tracking tiny wins aligned with your values (not societyās āshouldsā) is a buffer against burnout.
š± Example: If āconnectionā is a value, texting a friend countsāeven if you couldnāt attend the party.
3. Mismatch Between Personal and External Values Creates Stress
- When personal values clashed with workplace values, practitioners reported more exhaustion.
- For ADHD women, mismatch often looks like:
- Needing flexibility but working in rigid systems.
- Valuing authenticity but being forced to mask.
- Craving rest but rewarding ourselves only when we āearn it.ā
š” Aligning life with your own values (rather than inherited or imposed ones) can reduce guilt-driven over-functioning.
š¼ What This Means for ADHD Burnout Recovery
Like autistic burnout (Neff, 2021), ADHD burnout requires both immediate care and deep restructuring. Values work can guide both.
Immediate Recovery
- Ask: Which of my values can I honor today, even in a tiny way?
- Drop demands that donāt align with your priorities.
- Build small rituals around core values (creativity, connection, learning, rest).
Sustained Recovery
- Clarify: What actually matters most to me?
- Compare: Where do my values clash with my environment?
- Adjust: How can I shift my commitments, boundaries, or routines to reduce the mismatch?
š Reflection Prompts for Flourish Groups
- Which values feel most alive in me right now?
- Which ones feel neglectedāand is that contributing to burnout?
- Where do I feel forced to choose between who I am and whatās expected of me?
- What tiny step today would help me act on one of my core values?
š Key Takeaways (Fact Sheet Style)
- Burnout in ADHD women is not just exhaustion ā itās often living out of sync with our values.
- Aligning daily actions with personal values (honesty, creativity, rest, connection) reduces burnout.
- Perceived āfailureā at living values increases emotional exhaustion ā celebrate small, value-driven wins.
- Long-term recovery involves redesigning life around values, not around masking or impossible expectations.
š Citation:
Veage, S., Ciarrochi, J., Deane, F. P., Andresen, R., Oades, L. G., & Crowe, T. P. (2014). Value congruence, importance and success in the workplace: Links with well-being and burnout amongst mental health practitioners. Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, 3(4), 258ā264. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jcbs.2014.06.004
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