Use this to: separate what you know from what you are assuming when someone seems upset.
Try it
- Name what happened. Write what you saw or heard, then the meaning you attached to it.
- Check your part. Did you do something that needs repair? Is there a request you need to answer? Ask for clarification if it would help.
- Choose a response that fits the facts. You might apologize, listen, give space, or return to what you were doing. You do not have to keep checking until their mood changes.
Example
Your partner is unusually brief. You assume they are angry with you. You ask once, and they say they are tired after work. Unless other information gives you reason for concern, you can give them space instead of repeatedly asking whether you did something wrong.
Your next step: Write: “What I know is …. My part is …. I will ….”