Use this to: understand one automatic rule before deciding whether you want to change it.
Try it
- Choose a repeated reaction. For example, overpreparing, hiding a need, or preventing disagreement.
- Name the rule underneath. “If I don’t …, then … will happen.”
- Consider where it came from. What experiences taught you this? You do not need to remember a clear origin.
- Compare then and now. What did the rule help you manage? What does it cost now? Is the same risk still present?
Example
You learned that asking questions led to ridicule, so you now pretend to understand instructions. In your current workplace, a trusted colleague answers questions respectfully. That gives you a specific setting in which a different response may be possible.
Your next step: Write: “This rule helped me manage …. Today I want to check whether ….”