Use this to: choose a specific repair without blaming yourself for every part of a situation.
Try it
- Name the event and its effect. What happened, and who was affected?
- Identify your contribution. What did you do, miss, or need to communicate differently?
- Identify the other factors. Include unclear agreements, missing support, or other people’s actions without using them to erase your contribution.
- Choose a repair. Apologize, correct something, clarify an agreement, or arrange support.
Example
You forget an agreed appointment. You apologize for the missed time and ask about rescheduling. You also set a calendar reminder. You can address the mistake without turning it into “I’m a terrible friend.”
Your next step: Write: “My part was …. The repair I can make is ….”