Use this to: notice what an emotion may be responding to and decide what needs attention.
Try it
- Name the feeling in your own words. If you cannot label it, describe what you notice.
- Identify the situation. What happened just before it, and what meaning did you attach to it?
- Look for a need or concern. You may need information, company, rest, repair, a limit, or time to think.
- Choose a response using the feeling and the facts. A strong feeling deserves attention; it may not answer every question about the situation.
Example
You feel guilty after declining an invitation. You care about the friend and worry they will feel rejected. You also know you need recovery time. You might suggest another date instead of reversing your answer immediately.
Your next step: Write: “I feel …. It may relate to …. What I will respond to now is ….”