TEXT FILE Stress System

L a n d m a rk s o f E m o t i o n

In this unit, we will learn the flourish model of emotional regulation, which involves keeping us out of overwhelm. This is an introduction to the idea. We will be building on this throughout our group.

Remember, emotional regulation is necessary to befriend our emotions and decode them or understand what they are trying to tell us. This model is based on Kristy Arbon's Somatic Self-Compassion Model, which helps us be more aware of our bodies and how to care for ourselves before we become overwhelmed.

Knowing how to identify your particular landmarks of emotion can help you understand when you are about to become overwhelmed. It can be challenging to interpret what your emotions mean when this happens.

When overwhelmed, your brain may interpret the overwhelm as a danger and cause you to go into fight-flight freeze or fawn. YOu may find yourself in those old behavior patterns you might want to be doing less, like shutting down, hiding, pleasing, or perfectionism. The more you experience this stress pattern, the more likely you will feel drained and exhausted and have less control over your life and less self- confidence and self-trust.

There is another way! Let's learn about it.

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We can think of ourselves as having four states—rest, challenge, approaching overwhlem and overwhelm.

Rest

Rest can be described as an easeful state. It's a calm and effortless state. Most behaviors will be conscious and chosen when we are in a rest state.

Rest might be a tricky state to recognize and stay in. Our brain's survival bias might make it boring and uninteresting, but rest is still important. This bias can make us notice all the unpleasant parts of our experience and disregard the signs that we are resting. We should recognize when we are resting and appreciate when our needs are fulfilled. Life is not always about difficulty, and survival bias or negative bias is not always our reality. Noticing our resting states and adding more of them to our lives can help add more emotional regulation.

R e s t

For example, you should be at rest more if you are a perfectionist. It's good for you.

Noticing the signs of being at rest Feeling content

Thinking clearly Feeling spaciousness Loose muscles Breathing freely

Awareness of our spirituality, whatever it is

Take a minute and jot down your signs of being in rest. You can focus on thoughts, sensations, feelings, what your body wants to do when you think of or are at rest, and images that come to mind.

C h a l l e n g e

Challenge is another state we can be in. When we are challenged, we use our resources successfully and learn and grow. We live our life consistent with our values and usually maximize our strengths while in this state. In an upcoming unit, you will have the opportunity to explore your strengths and values.

When you are learning something new, you might be in a challenge state. For example, You might find yourself in a challenge during this course. Words like curious, excited, learning and growing, and fun can be used to describe a challenge state, but you may also experience mild irritation.

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Noticing the signs of being challenged

When we are in a challenge state, we are doing something meaningful, but we can manage the stress and enjoy what we are doing without too much distress.

Signs of being in a challenge state: Alert

Curious Engaged

Researching things

Mild to moderate tension

Mildly annoyed or irritated but determined to grow Still can learn

Excited

C h a l l e n g e

Take a minute and jot down your signs of being in a challenge. Some key areas to pay attention to are. What are your thoughts, sensations, and feelings while in a challenge state? What does your body feel like doing, and what images come to mind when you think of the challenge state?

The goal is to stay concentrated on the job in front of us, even when it is hard, and to prevent ourselves from becoming overwhelmed by the standards of perfectionism, shame what others demand of us or our inner critic sets that are not being fulfilled. These are things that take us out of challenge into overwhelm.

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Once you start to feel like you are no longer making choices and things are happening too fast or without your awareness, your confusion can turn to panic. For example, your mild irritation may become something you can't manage. You may want to run away and escape, avoid, argue, or lash out, or you may find yourself shutting down and dissociating. These are all signs of approaching overwhelm.

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The aim is to either remain in a state of rest or challenge and stay out of overwhelm. To live in a world of people with typical neurological development, you have probably been conditioned to ignore your body's signals and force yourself to do too much to survive. There are better ways than this, so the goal is to give you the tools to take care of yourself in a manner that is more mindful of what your body needs.

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Some signs that you might be moving into it include:

Worrying Nausea

Heart is racing Thinking is fuzzy Mind becomes busy

Thoughts start to become negative Muscles might tighten

What are some signs that you may be moving from challenge into overwhlem?

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Reflection Question

Remember, the more regulated you are, the more your brain can think about and interpret your feelings to help you make decisions in your best interest.

This will build your self-trust and self-confidence—Something you have been deprived of.

You may have never been taught to pay attention to these signs. In fact, you've likely been taught to ignore them.

Do you have signs that you are moving between challenge and overwhelm?

What are they?

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Reflection Question

Can you think of some ways and times that your family or societal structures have taught you to ignore the signs of your moving overwhelm?

You may have been taught your feelings in your body don't matter or that they are unreliable, but now you know they are not. They are often signs of something happening in your environment to pay attention to.

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Overwhelm is an innate response to protect you!!!

When we have been through more than we can handle, it is natural to feel overwhelmed and need a break. It is okay to experience this, and it is normal. We should be gentle with ourselves and take time to both push ourselves and rest.

Feeling disconnected Numb

Desperate

Indecisive, teary, vulnerable Tight muscles

Want to hide, sleep or run away

What are your signs of overwhelm? Take a few minutes to think about this.

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Mildly difficult emotions will come up during our training. You can practice these ideas moving forward by paying attention during our group sessions to whether you are at rest in challenge or in overwhelm.

As we progress through the course, we will learn through our framework how to stay in challenge by using our skills.

Notice if you begin to feel overwhelmed Ask yourself if we require any assistance Give yourself the help you need or

Get assistance for yourself

In our self-compassion unit we will learn to ask ourselves three questions.

what we feel what we need what we can do

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Rather than disregarding our needs and relying on old strategies, it is essential to consider how to tune in and respond to ourselves by making wise choices.

Self awareness helps us to build the skills to tune in to our experience and ask questions to figure out how to help ourselves.

Some questions might be

Do we need to use self-advocacy by being more assertive or communicating somethingelse such as the need for clarification of help?

Do we need to make accommodations to make something easier or more comfortable?

Do we need to be more curious, kind, and less judgemental of our experience and use skills of self compassion?

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Extra Help:

You can use the Body Feelings Words and Feelings Wheel to help with these practices.

Body Scans

In our course there is a link to a recording where you can practice body scans. Body scans can help you become more attuned to the signs of the landmarks of emotions. The more you do them the more skilled you will become. They also are often relaxing.

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Extra Help:

You can use the Body Feelings Words and Feelings Wheel to help with this practice.

Timer check ins

You can build awareness of what you are feeling and help yourself with knowing where you are in your emotional landscape by using a timer as many times a day as you'd like.

Set an alarm two to three times a day and ask yourself what you are feeling in your body. Try to put a feelings name to it and or match it to a state, rest challenge or overwhlem.