What is Masking

Masking in ADHD and Autism: What It Is and Why It Matters

If you have ADHD or you’re autistic, you may have spent years learning how to appear “more acceptable” to others. That process is called masking — hiding or altering parts of yourself to meet other people’s expectations.

Masking can look different for everyone. Sometimes it’s intentional (“I know I need to act this way to fit in at work”), and other times it’s so automatic you don’t realize you’re doing it. Either way, it can shape how you see yourself and how others see you — including professionals who are trying to assess or diagnose you.

Why People Mask

Societal expectations – Our culture often values sustained focus, neatness, and emotional control. If you’ve been told your natural pace, style, or reactions are “wrong,” you may try to change them to avoid criticism.
Fear of stigma – ADHD and autism are still misunderstood. Many people hide traits to avoid being judged, dismissed, or discriminated against.
Gendered pressure – Research shows that women and people assigned female at birth are often more likely to mask. They may be taught to be agreeable, accommodating, and socially skilled — even at a personal cost.
High-functioning image – Success in some areas (school, career, relationships) doesn’t mean you don’t have challenges. It can mean you’ve gotten very good at covering them up.

How Masking Can Show Up

Choosing jobs or roles that fit your energy level but also hide attention challenges.
Talking a lot, joking, or using humor to deflect attention from struggles.
Avoiding situations that trigger overwhelm or sensory overload.
Using substances like alcohol, nicotine, or cannabis to manage emotions or hyperactivity.
Over-preparing or over-editing your work to avoid mistakes.

Short-Term Benefits, Long-Term Costs

Masking can help you get through a meeting, avoid conflict, or make social interactions easier. But over time, it can come at a high cost:

Anxiety and depression – Constantly editing yourself can make you feel disconnected and “never good enough.”
Burnout and exhaustion – Keeping up a mask takes a huge amount of mental and emotional energy.
Delayed diagnosis – If you’ve learned to hide your struggles, professionals might not see the full picture, which can delay support.
Loss of self-identity – The longer you mask, the harder it can be to know what’s really you.
Vulnerability – People-pleasing and boundary-softening to keep others comfortable can make you more at risk for exploitation.

Masking in Autism: Added Pressures

For autistic women and non-binary people, the masking load can be even heavier.

Pressure to be socially “effortless” – Unspoken rules about eye contact, tone of voice, and facial expressions often push autistic people to copy neurotypical behaviors.
Avoiding negative reactions – If you’ve been bullied, rejected, or misunderstood in the past, masking can feel like self-protection.
Hoping for connection – Many mask in hopes of making friends or fitting in, even if it’s draining.

While these strategies may help in the moment, the trade-offs — mental health strain, identity loss, social exhaustion — can be profound.

Moving Toward Less Masking

Reducing masking isn’t about “dropping the mask” all at once. It’s about finding spaces where you can be yourself without fear of rejection, and learning skills that let you protect your well-being while staying authentic. That might mean:

Building relationships with people who accept you as you are.
Practicing self-accommodation — adjusting your environment instead of pushing yourself to “pass.”
Working with a neurodivergent-affirming therapist who understands the cost of masking.

You are not “too much” or “not enough.” You are navigating a world that often isn’t built with your brain in mind — and that’s not your fault.

Here’s your updated section with the fact-check clarifications worked in, so it’s fully accurate for both ADHD and autism while keeping your tone and flow: