The complete text of the Radical Self-Care for ADHD Women workbook, organized into sections for reading and completing the exercises in Notion. The illustrations and repeated page footers have been omitted; the original educational content and prompts are retained.
Related Flourish Pages
- Self-Care for ADHD Women: The Four Foundations
- The Flourish Model
- Self-Compassion and ADHD in Women
- Member Resources
- THE FLOURISH PROGRAM
What Is Self-Care?
What Is Self-Care?
Self-care means taking care of your physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental well-being. It includes everyday needs like eating, sleeping, and resting, as well as making room for activities and relationships that support you.
For ADHD women, self-care can also mean questioning expectations, changing environments that don't meet your needs, and letting go of the pressure to keep up at any cost.
Radical self-care involves recognizing that your needs deserve attention, even when other people expect more from you.
Why Self-Care Matters
Why Self-Care Matters Self care can help you:
REDUCE OVERLOAD Recognizing your limits and reducing demands where possible can help prevent exhaustion.
SUPPORT YOUR HEALTH Regular meals, sleep, movement, and rest support physical and mental well-being.
Regular nourishment, adequate sleep, and opportunities for rest can make stress easier to manage.
MAKE EMOTIONAL REGULATION EASIER Meeting physical and sensory needs can make difficult emotions and stress easier to manage.
MAKE ROOM FOR YOUR OWN NEEDS:
Your well-being deserves attention, even when other people need things from you.
The Reality of Self-Care for Women with ADHD
The Reality of Self-Care for Women with ADHD Many women grow up learning to put other people's needs before their own. For ADHD women, this pressure can be even greater when they've spent years trying to keep up, hide their difficulties, and meet expectations that don't account for how their brains work.
Practicing self-care can involve questioning these expectations and learning to make room for your own needs.
A Note About Grief Self-care can also involve grief. You may have spent years believing that if you just tried harder, found the right strategy, or took the right medication, you could finally keep up with everything expected of you.
Letting go of that belief can be difficult. It may mean grieving the version of yourself you thought you were supposed to become.
Think about the gold-standard woman: the woman who manages her career, family, relationships, household, health, and appearance while somehow finding time for everything else.
She's an impossible standard that many women have spent years trying to meet.
Recognizing that you don't have to keep chasing her can be an important part of radical self-care.
What Makes Self-Care Difficult for ADHD Women?
What Makes Self-Care Difficult for ADHD Women?
Executive Functioning Challenges: Difficulties with planning, remembering, and organizing can make it harder to meet basic needs like eating, drinking, and resting.
Pressure to Perform: Many ADHD women feel pressure to achieve, mask their differences, and keep up with others. This can leave little time or energy for self-care.
Additional Barriers: ADHD women who experience multiple forms of discrimination may face additional challenges. What works for one woman may not work for another.
Putting Others First: Many women grow up learning to prioritize other people's needs above their own. This can make it difficult to recognize and make room for their own needs.
Reclaiming Self-Care
Reclaiming Self-Care Reflection ven when self-care has been difficult, you may already be finding ways to take care of yourself.
Participating in this group, for example, is an act of self-care.
What are some other ways you already practice self-care?
Practicing radical self-care may involve:
Questioning expectations: Recognizing the pressure to constantly achieve, perform, or keep up with others.
Prioritizing your needs: Challenging the belief that taking care of others must always come before taking care of yourself.
Creating supports: Using reminders, accommodations, and other strategies to make meeting your needs easier.
Radical self-care begins when you recognize that you have the right to protect your time, honor your needs, and decide how much of yourself you give to others.
Four Foundations of Self-Care
Four Foundations of Self-Care 1 Nourishing Yourself: Eating regularly and staying hydrated in ways that work for your needs and preferences.
2 Resting Yourself: Making time to recover from daily demands.
Rest might include solitude, creativity, connecting with friends, or enjoying a special interest.
3 Sleep: Getting the sleep your body needs to support your health, mood, and executive functioning.
4 Moving Your Body: Finding enjoyable and accessible ways to move that fit your energy, abilities, and preferences.
Nourishing Yourself with Food
Nourishing Yourself with Food Eating Disorders, Hyperfocus, and Hunger Cues Women with ADHD are at increased risk for eating disorders. Emotional regulation difficulties, anxiety, and depression can also affect their relationship with food.
Other ADHD-related experiences can make eating regularly more challenging:
Hyperfocus: Becoming so absorbed in an activity that you lose track of time and forget to eat.
Interoception: Difficulty noticing internal body signals, such as hunger, thirst, or fullness.
Alexithymia: Difficulty identifying and describing emotions, which can make it harder to understand how emotions affect eating.
If you often forget to eat, try using a timer or another reminder rather than relying only on hunger cues.
Blood Sugar and ADHD
Blood Sugar and ADHD Going long periods without eating can leave you feeling tired, irritable, or having difficulty concentrating.
Is there a recommended diet for ADHD women?
There is no single diet proven to work for everyone with ADHD. Eating regularly and including a variety of foods, such as protein, carbohydrates, fruits, and vegetables, can support your energy and overall health.
Nourishing Yourself: Making Eating Easier
Nourishing Yourself:
Making Eating Easier Eating regularly can be challenging for ADHD women. You might lose track of time, have difficulty recognizing hunger, or feel overwhelmed by the steps involved in preparing food.
One way to support yourself is to make eating more convenient, accessible, and enjoyable.
Practical Strategies Keep easy-to-eat foods available. Stock foods that require little or no preparation, such as cheese, crackers, fruit, yogurt, nuts, or packaged snacks. Choose foods you enjoy that work for your sensory preferences.
Try a ready-to-eat food platter. Keep a plate or container of your favorite foods in the fridge. You might include apple slices, olives, cheese, crackers, or chocolate. When you need something to eat, you can pull it out without having to decide what to prepare.
Use reminders to eat. If you lose track of time or don't notice hunger cues, try phone alarms, scheduled meal breaks, or visual reminders.
Nourishment: Self-Care Reflection
Nourishment: Self-Care Reflection How many meals do you miss or delay in a typical week because you're busy, distracted, or don't notice you're hungry?
How often do you realize you're hungry but have difficulty stopping what you're doing to eat?
What makes preparing or eating food difficult? Consider task initiation, sensory preferences, decision-making, energy, or the number of steps involved.
What foods, conveniences, or supports would make eating regularly easier for you?
Making Nourishment Easier
Make food visible and accessible. Keep snacks near your workspace or organize your fridge so ready-to-eat foods are easy to find.
Reduce meal preparation. Pre-cut vegetables, frozen meals, grocery delivery, meal kits, and prepared foods are all reasonable ways to feed yourself. You don't have to cook everything from scratch.
Let go of expectations about how you should eat. You may have learned that being a good mother, partner, or woman means preparing home-cooked meals for your family. Those expectations can create unnecessary guilt and pressure. Convenience foods, simple meals, and asking for help are all reasonable options.
Remember You don't have to cook elaborate meals or follow someone else's idea of healthy eating to take care of yourself. Finding ways to eat regularly that fit your needs, preferences, and available energy is a form of self-care.
Hydration and ADHD
Hydration and ADHD Hydration is a basic health need.
Drinking enough fluids supports physical functioning. Dehydration can contribute to headaches, fatigue, dizziness, and sometimes difficulties with attention or mood.
Some ADHD-related experiences can make staying hydrated more challenging:
Noticing thirst. It may be difficult to notice thirst while absorbed in an activity, especially if internal body cues are subtle.
Remembering to drink. A visible bottle, accessible drinks, or pairing a sip with an existing activity can reduce the need to remember Sensory preferences. Temperature, flavor, texture, containers, and straws can make a drink more appealing.
Medication and health. Some medications can cause dry mouth or influence appetite. Ask your clinician about medication effects or medical conditions affecting fluid needs.
Finding Hydration Supports
Finding Hydration Supports Drinking enough throughout the day can be easier when you find strategies that fit your preferences and routines.
Keep drinks visible and accessible. Place water or another preferred drink near your workspace or wherever you spend time.
Find what you enjoy drinking. Experiment with cold, room-temperature, flavored, or sparkling drinks.
Choose a cup that works for you. A straw, insulated bottle, or favorite cup might make drinking easier or more appealing.
Connect drinking to existing routines. Try having something to drink when you eat, take medication, or stop for a break.
Use reminders if they help. Phone alarms or visual cues can be useful, but skip them if they become annoying or easy to ignore.
Plan for busy days. Consider keeping extra drinks nearby when you're working or likely to become absorbed in an activity.
Tips to Help You Drink More Water
Tips to Help You Drink More Water Get yourself one of those beautiful water bottles that motivate you.
Keep a pitcher of ice water in the fridge.
Get yourself a straw!
Drink flavored water.
Make it a competition with a friend.
Hook it onto another activity. For example:
Hydration: Self-Care Reflection
Hydration: Self-Care Reflection How many glasses of water or other fluids do you typically drink each day?
Do you notice when you're thirsty, or do you sometimes go hours without drinking?
When are you most likely to forget to drink? For example, while working, running errands, or concentrating on something.
What would make drinking easier? Consider your preferred drinks, temperature, cups, visual reminders, or having drinks nearby.
Movement That Works for You
Movement That Works for You Movement can support attention, mood, sleep, and overall well-being. For ADHD women, it can also provide stimulation, help release physical tension, or offer a break from mentally demanding activities.
Attention and focus: Research suggests that physical activity may temporarily improve attention and impulse control in some people with ADHD, although results vary.
Emotional well-being: Movement can help reduce stress, improve mood, and provide an outlet for restlessness.
Sleep and energy: Regular movement may support better sleep and help with energy levels.
Finding what works for you: Walking, dancing, stretching, swimming, gardening, and seated movement are all options. Choose activities that feel accessible and enjoyable.
Letting Go of Exercise Expectations
Letting Go of Exercise Expectations Many women have learned to associate exercise with weight loss, appearance, discipline, or achieving fitness goals. These expectations can make movement feel like another obligation or something you're failing to do.
Movement doesn't have to involve a gym, a structured routine, or a certain number of minutes each day. You can move because you enjoy it, because your body feels restless, because it helps you concentrate, or simply because it feels good.
You may also have days when movement feels difficult or when rest is what your body needs.
Radical self-care includes giving yourself permission to move in ways that work for you, without having to meet someone else's expectations.
Movement: Self-Care Reflection (1)
Movement: Self-Care Reflection
- What kinds of movement do you enjoy, or have you enjoyed in the past?
How do you feel physically and emotionally after moving your body? Do you notice changes in your mood, attention, restlessness, or energy?
How often do you feel the need to move after sitting or concentrating for long periods?
What makes movement difficult to start or maintain? Consider time, energy, sensory discomfort, boredom, transitions, pain, or accessibility.
Movement: Self-Care Reflection (2)
Movement: Self-Care Reflection Do you feel pressure to exercise for weight loss, appearance, fitness, or because you think you should?
Have past experiences or expectations affected how you feel about exercise or your body?
What opportunities do you have to move during your day, even for a few minutes?
- What would make movement easier or more enjoyable for you?
Take a moment to write whatever comes up — there are no wrong answers here.
Sleep and ADHD
Sleep and ADHD Sleep difficulties are common among women with ADHD. You might struggle to fall asleep, wake frequently during the night, have difficulty getting up in the morning, or feel exhausted even after a full night's sleep.
There are several reasons this can happen, and understanding your particular sleep difficulties can help you find the right supports.
Common Sleep Difficulties Being a night owl (delayed sleep-wake phase): Some ADHD women naturally feel sleepy later at night and prefer waking later in the morning.
This can create problems when work, family, or other responsibilities require an early start.
Insomnia: You may have difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or returning to sleep after waking. Cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) is an effective treatment for chronic insomnia.
Restless legs syndrome: An uncomfortable sensation or urge to move your legs can make it difficult to settle down or fall asleep. Symptoms are often worse in the evening.
Sleep Supports and Medical Considerations
Sleep apnea: Breathing repeatedly stops or becomes restricted during sleep, which can leave you feeling exhausted during the day. Snoring, gasping during sleep, and persistent daytime sleepiness are possible signs.
Medication effects: ADHD medications can affect sleep differently. Some women find that stimulants interfere with falling asleep, while others experience better evening regulation. Medication timing and individual responses can make a difference.
Finding the Right Sleep Supports Different sleep problems require different approaches. Some women benefit from changing their sleep environment or routines, while others need treatment for insomnia, a circadian rhythm difference, or another sleep condition.
If you're experiencing ongoing sleep difficulties, consider speaking with a healthcare professional who can help identify possible causes. Treatments such as CBT-I, appropriately timed light exposure, or medication adjustments may be helpful depending on your situation.
Sleep: Remember
Remember You may have spent years being told to go to bed earlier, put away your phone, or develop better sleep habits. While some changes can help, sleep difficulties associated with ADHD are rarely resolved through routines or willpower.
Understanding your sleep patterns and finding appropriate support is part of taking care of yourself.
Sleep and ADHD: Self-Care Reflection (1)
Sleep and ADHD: Self-Care Reflection How many hours of sleep do you usually get each night? How many hours do you feel you need?
What time do you naturally feel sleepy? Is it different from the time you need to go to bed to meet your responsibilities?
- How long does it usually take you to fall asleep once you're in bed?
How often do you wake during the night? Do you have difficulty falling back asleep?
Sleep and ADHD: Self-Care Reflection (2)
Sleep and ADHD: Self-Care Reflection Do you wake feeling rested, or do you feel tired even after a full night's sleep?
Do you stay up late because nighttime is the only time you have to yourself, without demands from work, family, or other people?
What makes it difficult to get the sleep you need? Consider racing thoughts, sensory discomfort, medication effects, caregiving responsibilities, or difficulty transitioning away from activities.
Have you noticed patterns in your sleep related to your menstrual cycle, perimenopause, or menopause?
Sleep and ADHD: Self-Care Reflection (3)
Have you ever discussed ongoing sleep difficulties with a healthcare professional or been evaluated for a sleep condition?
What changes to your environment, schedule, or responsibilities might make getting enough sleep easier?
Reclaiming Your Evenings
Reclaiming Your Evenings Understanding Bedtime Procrastination Have you ever stayed up later than you intended because nighttime was the only time you had to yourself?
Sometimes called revenge bedtime procrastination, this happens when people delay going to bed to enjoy personal time they didn't have during the day.
For ADHD women, evenings may offer a chance to pursue interests, enjoy quiet, spend time alone, or finally do something without interruption. The transition from an enjoyable activity to getting ready for bed can also be difficult.
You may find yourself sacrificing sleep because you want more time that belongs to you.
Questions to Consider How much time during the day is actually yours?
What do you get from staying up late: quiet, freedom, stimulation, relaxation, or time for your interests?
Could you protect some personal time earlier in the day?
What would make transitioning to bedtime easier?
Not every late night is bedtime procrastination. Differences in your natural sleep rhythm, insomnia, caregiving responsibilities, and other circumstances can also affect when you fall asleep.
Practical Sleep Supports (1)
Practical Sleep Supports Finding ways to make sleep easier may involve changing your environment, adjusting routines, or reducing the demands placed on you.
Strategies to Explore Create a bedtime transition. If stopping an activity and getting ready for bed feels difficult, try a predictable sequence of steps. You might start preparing for bed earlier rather than waiting until you're exhausted.
Make your sleeping environment comfortable. Consider lighting, bedding, room temperature, noise, and sensory preferences. Small adjustments can make your bedroom more comfortable.
Make bedtime more appealing. Try enjoyable, low-stimulation activities such as listening to an audiobook, gentle stretching, or reading. You don't have to follow a rigid bedtime routine.
Reduce evening demands. Complete tasks like preparing clothes, charging devices, or getting things ready for the next morning earlier in the evening, when possible.
Practical Sleep Supports (2)
Consider your relationship with screens. Bright light and stimulating content can make falling asleep harder for some people. Experiment with brightness, content, and timing rather than assuming you must eliminate screens entirely.
Explore morning light and daytime movement. Spending time outdoors during the day and finding enjoyable ways to move may help support sleep. Timing matters, particularly if you have a delayed sleep rhythm.
Pay attention to naps. Notice whether naps help you recover or make it harder to fall asleep at night. Their effects can depend on timing and duration.
Review medication effects. If your sleep changes after starting or adjusting medication, discuss this with your prescriber.
When You May Need Additional Support If you regularly struggle to fall asleep, wake frequently, feel exhausted despite adequate sleep, or experience symptoms such as loud snoring or restless legs, consider talking with a healthcare professional.
Sleep difficulties can have several causes, and some require specific treatment.
Rest and Stress Recovery
Rest and Stress Recovery Rest includes many ways of reducing demands and recovering energy.
The sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems work together in ongoing regulation. Stress and recovery are complex processes rather than a simple switch between two states.
The Seven Types of Rest
The Seven Types of Rest Rest can take different forms depending on what is exhausting you. The seven types of rest framework offers a way to identify what you may need.
Physical rest: Relief from bodily effort, aches, and discomfort.
Mental rest: Fewer decisions and less sustained thinking.
Emotional rest: Less pressure to explain, perform, or manage feelings for others.
Spiritual rest: Time with whatever gives you meaning and perspective.
Creative rest: Stepping back from producing and problem-solving.
Social rest: Time alone or with people who don't require masking.
Sensory rest: Reducing noise, light, touch, or other overwhelming stimulation.
These categories are useful reflection tools, not scientifically established separate biological types of rest. You can adapt them to your own needs.
Rest: Self-Care Reflection
Rest: Self-Care Reflection After a demanding day or week, how much time do you have to rest and recover? Is it enough for you?
Which types of rest do you feel you need most right now: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, creative, social, or sensory?
How often do you continue working, helping others, or meeting responsibilities when you feel exhausted?
What responsibilities, expectations, or circumstances make it difficult to get the rest you need? What could help you make more room for rest?
Your Personal Self-Care Plan
WORKBOOK SECTION Your Personal Self-Care Plan You've explored different ways to care for yourself. Now you can choose one area where you'd like more support.
You don't have to change everything at once. Start with something that would make your daily life a little easier. You can choose a goal from the following pages or create your own.
Step 1: Choose an Area of Focus Which area of self-care would you like to focus on?
Why did you choose this area?
Step 2: Choose a Self-Care Goal — Rest
Step 2: Choose a Self-Care Goal Look through the following goal menus and choose one goal that interests you.
You can change the amount, frequency, or activity to suit your needs. You can also create your own goal.
Rest Goals
My own goal:
Sleep Goals
Sleep Goals
My own goal:
Nourishment Goals
Nourishment Goals
My own goal:
Hydration Goals
Hydration Goals
in advance.
My own goal:
Movement Goals
Movement Goals
equipment, or support.
My own goal:
Step 3: Make Your Goal Work for You
Step 3: Make Your Goal Work for You Look at the goal you selected. Does it fit your available time, energy, and circumstances?
You can make it smaller, change how often you do it, or remove steps that make it difficult.
My chosen goal:
What might make this difficult?
How could I make it easier?
My adjusted goal:
Step 4: Create Your Support Plan
Step 4: Create Your Support Plan When will you try it?
Choose a time, situation, or existing activity that could help you remember. Examples: After breakfast, when I finish work, during my afternoon break, or on Sunday.
I'll try it:
What supports would help?
Check any that sound useful.
accessible.
already do.
ahead of time.
involved.
from another person.
One thing I'll do to make this easier:
Step 5: Reflect and Adjust
Step 5: Reflect and Adjust After you've had a chance to try your plan, take a few minutes to reflect.
Did I have an opportunity to try my goal?
What helped?
What got in the way?
What would I like to do next?
goal.
My next step:
Remember: Revising Your Plan
Remember Your self-care plan is something you can change as your needs and circumstances change. If a strategy isn't working, you can adjust it, find another way to meet the same need, or decide that something else deserves your attention.
You can return to these goal menus whenever you'd like to focus on another area of self-care.
Self-Care Beyond the Basics
Self-Care Beyond the Basics Self-care for ADHD women also involves making everyday life easier, finding support, and recognizing that you don't have to do everything the way other people do.
Sometimes self-care means changing your environment, asking for help, or letting go of expectations that don't work for you.
Creating an Environment That Supports You
Creating an Environment That Supports You Your surroundings, routines, and daily responsibilities can make life easier or harder. Small accommodations can reduce some of the effort involved in everyday tasks.
Time and energy: Use reminders, timers, or flexible schedules to help manage your time. Build in extra time for transitions and recovery when you need it.
Sensory needs: Adjust lighting, noise, temperature, clothing, or other sources of discomfort. Noise-canceling headphones, comfortable clothing, or a quieter workspace may help.
Organization: Keep important items visible and accessible. Use baskets, labels, or designated spaces that make sense to you. Your environment doesn't have to look organized to someone else as long as it works for you.
Routines: Build flexible routines that reduce decisions and make everyday tasks easier.
Reducing demands: Simplify, delegate, or eliminate responsibilities when possible.
Finding Support
Finding Support Ask for help: Share responsibilities and let others know what you need.
Connect with other ADHD women: Find people who understand your experiences and can offer support.
Use accommodations: Make changes at home, work, or in relationships that help you meet your needs.
Accepting Your ADHD Identity
Accepting Your ADHD Identity Understand your ADHD: Learn how it affects your daily life, emotions, energy, and needs.
Question old beliefs: Challenge expectations that you should be able to do everything the way other people do.
Recognize your needs: Give yourself permission to accommodate them without guilt.
Advocate for yourself: Communicate your needs and request support when it's appropriate and safe.
Radical self-care includes changing the expectations, environments, and responsibilities that make taking care of yourself harder.
A Final Thought
A Final Thought Radical self-care sometimes means changing the expectations you've spent years trying to meet. It may involve asking for help, setting boundaries, making accommodations, or letting go of responsibilities that leave you exhausted.
You deserve a life that makes room for your needs, rather than one that constantly requires you to push past them.
Kristen McClure, MSW, LCSW · Flourishing Women LLC
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